You can't call me a quitter. Masochist maybe.
The American
Watching the rest of The American. It's not getting any better. It amazes me that not one character in this movie is developed to the point of being even vaguely interesting. George Clooney has a face made of cement and his acting is so subtle as to be not there. This movie is a non-event like "Up in the Air". That was a waste of time. So what's the story George? Does someone else read the scripts and commit you to these dogs? You realise it is only a matter of time before you find yourself doing a James Cameron movie. Why not just do that now and skip the other disasters on this downward spiral in your career and your taste. I won't be bothering with movies just because they star George Clooney. Seems like he specialises in the dull and inexplicable. Time to retire?
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Action men
Five movies for five days, expect some blog action.
The Expendables
This one purely because of the adorable Jason Statham, East End gangster. This is an all-action movie that appears to be written and directed by Sylvester Stallone, starring Sylvester Stallone. The dialogue is, of course, better than if it was written by James Cameron. It even has humour. Lots of blood, more than usual I would say, each shooting or slashing was punctuated by visible sprays of blood. You don't often get that. Lots of death and dismemberment, with the emphasis on dismemberment. Heads, hands, whatever, slice it off. So it's a fairly silly story of mercenaries, coups, coca and not much else. Star of the show is the seaplane. Not a must-see.
The American
George Clooney being taciturn. Very little dialogue, which in a James Cameron movie would be a plus, but here it just makes the plot even more obscure. Clooney kills people, I think it his job. Could be a hobby. It starts in Dalarna Sweden where those red wooden horses are made. That is the most interesting thing about this movie. It's slow, boring, the lighting is horrible, there may or may not be music, I don't recall. There is no character development, but there is a gratuitous and totally un-sexy sex scene. Leaving that out would have mercifully shortened the movie. At the end of the sex scene, Clooney is lying in the bed looking like a dead monkey. Maybe it was the scarlet lighting in the prostitute's room. Not flattering. George Clooney visiting a prostitute? Hardly likely.
Actually, I only watched up to minute 56, then went off to do something exciting. I washed the dishes. I probably won't watch the rest of it. Possibly I am missing the best bit, or the part that makes it all make sense. At one stage I wondered if it was a training film for the gun-smithing school at Lassen College. Seriously, give this one a miss, even if you are a Clooney fan.
I may re-review this if I watch the rest of it, but don't hold your breath for that.
Cats are fine. Life goes on.
The Expendables
This one purely because of the adorable Jason Statham, East End gangster. This is an all-action movie that appears to be written and directed by Sylvester Stallone, starring Sylvester Stallone. The dialogue is, of course, better than if it was written by James Cameron. It even has humour. Lots of blood, more than usual I would say, each shooting or slashing was punctuated by visible sprays of blood. You don't often get that. Lots of death and dismemberment, with the emphasis on dismemberment. Heads, hands, whatever, slice it off. So it's a fairly silly story of mercenaries, coups, coca and not much else. Star of the show is the seaplane. Not a must-see.
The American
George Clooney being taciturn. Very little dialogue, which in a James Cameron movie would be a plus, but here it just makes the plot even more obscure. Clooney kills people, I think it his job. Could be a hobby. It starts in Dalarna Sweden where those red wooden horses are made. That is the most interesting thing about this movie. It's slow, boring, the lighting is horrible, there may or may not be music, I don't recall. There is no character development, but there is a gratuitous and totally un-sexy sex scene. Leaving that out would have mercifully shortened the movie. At the end of the sex scene, Clooney is lying in the bed looking like a dead monkey. Maybe it was the scarlet lighting in the prostitute's room. Not flattering. George Clooney visiting a prostitute? Hardly likely.
Actually, I only watched up to minute 56, then went off to do something exciting. I washed the dishes. I probably won't watch the rest of it. Possibly I am missing the best bit, or the part that makes it all make sense. At one stage I wondered if it was a training film for the gun-smithing school at Lassen College. Seriously, give this one a miss, even if you are a Clooney fan.
I may re-review this if I watch the rest of it, but don't hold your breath for that.
Cats are fine. Life goes on.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Girl power
It's almost a month since my last post. Sorry about that. I've been a bit busy learning things.
The Blue Collar Comedy Tour
I think that was the title, I watched it at the gym with BH, who was able to translate some of the more incomprehensible parts for me. Four comedians with a bit of a redneck theme. Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy and a couple of others. What can I say? Two countries divided not only by a common language but by humour that just does NOT translate across the Atlantic. According to these guys, the definition of a redneck is somebody with no sophistication at all. Apparently that is something to be proud of. Give me Ricky Gervais any day.
The joke about shooting the horse was funny, kept me chuckling for days. I am not a horse hater, it was just so unexpected.
Thelma and Louise
Yay, girl power! I think BH was a little perturbed at my approving reaction to the murder and mayhem that Thelma and Louise dish out in this classic cult movie. Not sure if it is a widespread cult fave, but for me and my BFF (33 years, that's getting close to forever) who shall remain nameless, it's our ongoing fantasy. I have to admit, this is the first time I have actually seen the movie and I think we may have to tone our planned road trip down a little. Yes to the convertible, the scarves, Brad Pitt and lots of laughter. Yes to a scenic trip to the Grand Canyon. No to carrying guns, killing people or rapists however much they deserve it, holding up convenience stores and blowing up semis. We probably wouldn't do the cop in the trunk thing either. Definitely no to not stopping at the edge of the Grand Canyon.
I really liked this movie. There are some great recognisable and memorable moments, characters, actions and reactions going on. Thelma's husband, the look on Harlan's face, Thelma's grin whenever she thinks of JD, Thelma's husband's reaction to JD's taunts, the final encounter with the truck driver, Harvey Keitel's character's reasonableness. Perfect music, great scenery and a nice little car. Yep, a teal T-bird convertible - my kind of car. Brad Pitt is very young and has a very low body fat percentage. Worth a look.
So, nameless BFF, I am looking for a convertible, you bring the scarves, and let's do it!
Still winter. Had some snow. Drove through a lot of snow. When driving, I prefer the snow to be on the ground and not still falling. Kitties are doing well.
The Blue Collar Comedy Tour
I think that was the title, I watched it at the gym with BH, who was able to translate some of the more incomprehensible parts for me. Four comedians with a bit of a redneck theme. Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy and a couple of others. What can I say? Two countries divided not only by a common language but by humour that just does NOT translate across the Atlantic. According to these guys, the definition of a redneck is somebody with no sophistication at all. Apparently that is something to be proud of. Give me Ricky Gervais any day.
The joke about shooting the horse was funny, kept me chuckling for days. I am not a horse hater, it was just so unexpected.
Thelma and Louise
Yay, girl power! I think BH was a little perturbed at my approving reaction to the murder and mayhem that Thelma and Louise dish out in this classic cult movie. Not sure if it is a widespread cult fave, but for me and my BFF (33 years, that's getting close to forever) who shall remain nameless, it's our ongoing fantasy. I have to admit, this is the first time I have actually seen the movie and I think we may have to tone our planned road trip down a little. Yes to the convertible, the scarves, Brad Pitt and lots of laughter. Yes to a scenic trip to the Grand Canyon. No to carrying guns, killing people or rapists however much they deserve it, holding up convenience stores and blowing up semis. We probably wouldn't do the cop in the trunk thing either. Definitely no to not stopping at the edge of the Grand Canyon.
I really liked this movie. There are some great recognisable and memorable moments, characters, actions and reactions going on. Thelma's husband, the look on Harlan's face, Thelma's grin whenever she thinks of JD, Thelma's husband's reaction to JD's taunts, the final encounter with the truck driver, Harvey Keitel's character's reasonableness. Perfect music, great scenery and a nice little car. Yep, a teal T-bird convertible - my kind of car. Brad Pitt is very young and has a very low body fat percentage. Worth a look.
So, nameless BFF, I am looking for a convertible, you bring the scarves, and let's do it!
Still winter. Had some snow. Drove through a lot of snow. When driving, I prefer the snow to be on the ground and not still falling. Kitties are doing well.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Staying warm
I woke up with a stiff neck so drove to the pleasantly warm gym, with difficulty, to stay warm and watch a movie. Otherwise it was stay in bed with the electric blanket on.
Couples Retreat
What a silly movie. When I tell you it stars Vince Vaughan you will know what I mean. Four couples go to a retreat where they are supposed to strengthen or save their marriages. It's pretty stupid, and not in a good way. I think it is safest to avoid Vince Vaughan movies. However ... there are some good people and one funny scene that my children would enjoy. I watched this on a big screen in Blu-ray and the visuals were pretty darn good. As one of the characters says "it's like a screensaver". I spent a while trying to work out if it was real or CGI. I think it was real. Impossibly blue sea. Blu-ray does make even the real look a bit unreal, a bit "better than life".
The good people? Jason Bateman from Arrested Development, as a similar character, and Chang from Community - as a therapist. And who was that other therapist, the guy with the glasses, I've seen him somewhere before, maybe Community? Just IMDb'd it and he is Professor Whitman from Community. Vernon Vaughan plays the grandad, and yes he is the father of Vince, Victoria and Valeri ??? Just the one set of nametags then, V Vaughan for the whole family. The wonderful French actor Jean Reno plays, surprise, a Frenchman, ably assisted by Dr Ropata, who is most definitely not in Guatemala but appears to be auditioning for Rank movies. Okay, it's Temuera Morrison who once was a warrior. I know what I'm talking about, even if nobody else does.
The funny scene - a kind of Duelling Banjos piece. Please pay attention to the dialogue after the duel. So funny, and all done with a straight face. Best bit of the whole movie, Sctanley's speech. That's not a typo.
If you watch this movie, skip the first bit before they get to the island, total waste of time.
No snow, blue skies, sunshine, shame I live in the back of beyond and so far from the beach, although there is plenty of sand.
Couples Retreat
What a silly movie. When I tell you it stars Vince Vaughan you will know what I mean. Four couples go to a retreat where they are supposed to strengthen or save their marriages. It's pretty stupid, and not in a good way. I think it is safest to avoid Vince Vaughan movies. However ... there are some good people and one funny scene that my children would enjoy. I watched this on a big screen in Blu-ray and the visuals were pretty darn good. As one of the characters says "it's like a screensaver". I spent a while trying to work out if it was real or CGI. I think it was real. Impossibly blue sea. Blu-ray does make even the real look a bit unreal, a bit "better than life".
The good people? Jason Bateman from Arrested Development, as a similar character, and Chang from Community - as a therapist. And who was that other therapist, the guy with the glasses, I've seen him somewhere before, maybe Community? Just IMDb'd it and he is Professor Whitman from Community. Vernon Vaughan plays the grandad, and yes he is the father of Vince, Victoria and Valeri ??? Just the one set of nametags then, V Vaughan for the whole family. The wonderful French actor Jean Reno plays, surprise, a Frenchman, ably assisted by Dr Ropata, who is most definitely not in Guatemala but appears to be auditioning for Rank movies. Okay, it's Temuera Morrison who once was a warrior. I know what I'm talking about, even if nobody else does.
The funny scene - a kind of Duelling Banjos piece. Please pay attention to the dialogue after the duel. So funny, and all done with a straight face. Best bit of the whole movie, Sctanley's speech. That's not a typo.
If you watch this movie, skip the first bit before they get to the island, total waste of time.
No snow, blue skies, sunshine, shame I live in the back of beyond and so far from the beach, although there is plenty of sand.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Great performances
I watched a movie at the gym today. This was the first title I could identify without my glasses.
Precious
A startlingly good movie with a harrowing story. Disadvantaged (in many ways) teenager Precious gets sent to an alternative school and her life changes. Precious is overweight, almost illiterate, pregnant, it gets way worse than that. Amazing performances. So amazing I did not recognise the actors. Mo'Nique is positively evil as the mother, but with a weird, off-base vulnerability, totally appropriate to the story. Mariah Carey plays Mrs Weiss, and does it well, almost without make-up. Lenny Kravitz is a male nurse. I didn't recognise them, as I was so convinced and captivated by their characters. Gabourey Sidibe is a complete novice. She plays Precious so well. I imagine she has a solid future as an actor.
This is a very good movie full of excellent performances. Worth watching and somehow uplifting despite the subject matter.
Winter continues, but not particularly cold at present. Little cat has improved.
Precious
A startlingly good movie with a harrowing story. Disadvantaged (in many ways) teenager Precious gets sent to an alternative school and her life changes. Precious is overweight, almost illiterate, pregnant, it gets way worse than that. Amazing performances. So amazing I did not recognise the actors. Mo'Nique is positively evil as the mother, but with a weird, off-base vulnerability, totally appropriate to the story. Mariah Carey plays Mrs Weiss, and does it well, almost without make-up. Lenny Kravitz is a male nurse. I didn't recognise them, as I was so convinced and captivated by their characters. Gabourey Sidibe is a complete novice. She plays Precious so well. I imagine she has a solid future as an actor.
This is a very good movie full of excellent performances. Worth watching and somehow uplifting despite the subject matter.
Winter continues, but not particularly cold at present. Little cat has improved.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Location, location
Some movies are a visual feast with no need for high tech tricks.
The Tourist
This movie is worth seeing just for the backgrounds. Actually, I forgot to review this because I forgot I saw it. Sorry Johnny. Big stars in this movie - Paris, Venice and a couple of actors. It's a ripping yarn of mayhem, murder and mistaken identity. Sort of. There is a twist in the tale.
An action movie set mostly in beautiful Venice, starring arguably the most beautiful woman on the planet. Angelina Jolie is particularly beautiful in this role. She wears wonderful costumes, especially the black off-the-shoulder ballgown. On that occasion she has her hair up in a style with some width to it and at first glimpse she strongly reminded me of Sophia Loren. She also sports an impeccable Home Counties English accent. If I hadn't known she was American, I would have totally accepted her as an English actress. She is a secret agent, with a secret.
Johnny Depp plays the tourist, a stranger Jolie picks up on a train in order to confuse the baddies regarding the identity of the elusive A, her close friend who sends messages that she dramatically burns on sidewalk tables at Parisian cafes. Phew! Depp gives this movie it's humour despite his role as somewhat plodding American teacher and tourist. His acting can be so understated. On one occasion he is in police custody and the Inspector lights a cigarette. Depp's character is trying to stop smoking and you can see the longing in his eyes, an expression so subtle as to be almost unnoticeable, but powerfully present. Other scenes are rather more slapstick, involving rooftops of Venice and Depp in pyjamas.
The police are a little "Keystone Cop-ish", led by the over-religious albino from one of Dan Brown's anti-Catholic blockbusters. No self flagellation, just a lot of frustration as he is constantly outwitted by goodies and baddies. Jolie drives a mean speedboat, rescuing Depp from the scrapes in which he finds himself. Yes it's a good story, pretty and undemanding, but entertaining. I would watch it again at home on dvd.
Jolie is stunning, Venice is magnificent, Depp is just plain. Maybe he is acting plain because normally he is rather handsome. There is absolutely NO chemistry between Jolie and Depp. I read in the gossip mags that Depp deliberately kept away from Jolie off the set, at the request of his partner, Vanessa Paradis. Probably a smart move, Vanessa.
Two black cats are charging their solar cells outside on a 1 degree C day. Later they will curl up together on the sofa for a long afternoon nap.
The Tourist
This movie is worth seeing just for the backgrounds. Actually, I forgot to review this because I forgot I saw it. Sorry Johnny. Big stars in this movie - Paris, Venice and a couple of actors. It's a ripping yarn of mayhem, murder and mistaken identity. Sort of. There is a twist in the tale.
An action movie set mostly in beautiful Venice, starring arguably the most beautiful woman on the planet. Angelina Jolie is particularly beautiful in this role. She wears wonderful costumes, especially the black off-the-shoulder ballgown. On that occasion she has her hair up in a style with some width to it and at first glimpse she strongly reminded me of Sophia Loren. She also sports an impeccable Home Counties English accent. If I hadn't known she was American, I would have totally accepted her as an English actress. She is a secret agent, with a secret.
Johnny Depp plays the tourist, a stranger Jolie picks up on a train in order to confuse the baddies regarding the identity of the elusive A, her close friend who sends messages that she dramatically burns on sidewalk tables at Parisian cafes. Phew! Depp gives this movie it's humour despite his role as somewhat plodding American teacher and tourist. His acting can be so understated. On one occasion he is in police custody and the Inspector lights a cigarette. Depp's character is trying to stop smoking and you can see the longing in his eyes, an expression so subtle as to be almost unnoticeable, but powerfully present. Other scenes are rather more slapstick, involving rooftops of Venice and Depp in pyjamas.
The police are a little "Keystone Cop-ish", led by the over-religious albino from one of Dan Brown's anti-Catholic blockbusters. No self flagellation, just a lot of frustration as he is constantly outwitted by goodies and baddies. Jolie drives a mean speedboat, rescuing Depp from the scrapes in which he finds himself. Yes it's a good story, pretty and undemanding, but entertaining. I would watch it again at home on dvd.
Jolie is stunning, Venice is magnificent, Depp is just plain. Maybe he is acting plain because normally he is rather handsome. There is absolutely NO chemistry between Jolie and Depp. I read in the gossip mags that Depp deliberately kept away from Jolie off the set, at the request of his partner, Vanessa Paradis. Probably a smart move, Vanessa.
Two black cats are charging their solar cells outside on a 1 degree C day. Later they will curl up together on the sofa for a long afternoon nap.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Foreign movies
Not so foreign - UK and Australian movies of uniquely UK and Australian stories.
Tomorrow When the War Began
This is the movie of the first in a series of seven books by John Marsden. There are also three extra books about the main character. The first book is required reading in Antipodean schools. I read the first book, got hooked and had to very quickly read all the rest. I'm telling you this so you understand my credentials for reviewing this movie. I suggested my mother read the books and I think she got through all seven in a fortnight. She really liked them too.
It's about a group of teenagers who are out of town on a camping trip when Australia is invaded by an unspecified enemy. The story follows how they cope and fight back. They are very different characters and the contrasts and group dynamics add to the interest. It's the Secret Seven with guns, for all you Enid Blyton fans, and seriously, who doesn't love Enid Blyton.
So - did the movie do justice to the book? Yes it did. Mostly unknowns, all the teenagers did a great job while appearing to be real people, not actors. The lighting was great and there was some excellent music. The tone of the movie was suspenseful and terrifying. I watched it on dvd at night and when I went to bed there was a helicopter circling overhead, echoing a scene in the film. I was scared. Fans of the book should be satisfied with the film's treatment of the story. Apparently it was okayed by the author. Those new to Ellie and her friends will probably enjoy the movie as an adventure movie. Oh and it's not all happy ever after. Bad stuff happens.
The ending was not a conclusion, leaving the way open for further films. Maybe not all seven books, perhaps condense them into another three.
One thing I really liked. Their campsite is beautiful.
The King's Speech
How could a film about a speech impediment and a speech therapist be interesting? When the person with the stammer is King George the sixth it gets pretty good. Colin Firth is a wonderful Bertie, with Helena Bonham Carter playing his wife in a way that is recognisable to those of us who knew a little about the Queen Mother, mainly from television news coverage. Guy Pearce (remember - Mrs Mangel's nephew in Neighbours) is a suitably self indulgent Edward who abdicates, forcing his brother to become king. Mrs Simpson and their "set" admire Mr Hitler. I wasn't so impressed with the two little princesses, but they are not so important to the story (apart from the abdication changing the course of Elizabeth's life of course). I thought they were a bit common. Geoffrey Rush as the speech therapist is excellent. He plays an Australian (as in fact he is) and doesn't stand on ceremony when working with his royal client.
As usual, good lighting, good writing, low key characters, nice settings and a lot of historical accuracy, with some dramatic license taken. I thoroughly recommend this movie, but once again, like "Made in Dagenham", it's not made for the American market. There are no explosions.
Cat news: the damaged part of the tail fell off, there is a suspicion that the other cat bit it off. The remainder of the tail has fur but is paralysed. It doesn't seem to worry him. His growth has been quite severely stunted, as his brother is a big cat now and Lotto has stayed about the size he was when the accident happened. He is also crosseyed so I guess there was a bit of brain damage too. But he is a smart, active, affectionate and apparently happy cat so he's okay. The two still get along well and curl up to sleep together.
Tomorrow When the War Began
This is the movie of the first in a series of seven books by John Marsden. There are also three extra books about the main character. The first book is required reading in Antipodean schools. I read the first book, got hooked and had to very quickly read all the rest. I'm telling you this so you understand my credentials for reviewing this movie. I suggested my mother read the books and I think she got through all seven in a fortnight. She really liked them too.
It's about a group of teenagers who are out of town on a camping trip when Australia is invaded by an unspecified enemy. The story follows how they cope and fight back. They are very different characters and the contrasts and group dynamics add to the interest. It's the Secret Seven with guns, for all you Enid Blyton fans, and seriously, who doesn't love Enid Blyton.
So - did the movie do justice to the book? Yes it did. Mostly unknowns, all the teenagers did a great job while appearing to be real people, not actors. The lighting was great and there was some excellent music. The tone of the movie was suspenseful and terrifying. I watched it on dvd at night and when I went to bed there was a helicopter circling overhead, echoing a scene in the film. I was scared. Fans of the book should be satisfied with the film's treatment of the story. Apparently it was okayed by the author. Those new to Ellie and her friends will probably enjoy the movie as an adventure movie. Oh and it's not all happy ever after. Bad stuff happens.
The ending was not a conclusion, leaving the way open for further films. Maybe not all seven books, perhaps condense them into another three.
One thing I really liked. Their campsite is beautiful.
The King's Speech
How could a film about a speech impediment and a speech therapist be interesting? When the person with the stammer is King George the sixth it gets pretty good. Colin Firth is a wonderful Bertie, with Helena Bonham Carter playing his wife in a way that is recognisable to those of us who knew a little about the Queen Mother, mainly from television news coverage. Guy Pearce (remember - Mrs Mangel's nephew in Neighbours) is a suitably self indulgent Edward who abdicates, forcing his brother to become king. Mrs Simpson and their "set" admire Mr Hitler. I wasn't so impressed with the two little princesses, but they are not so important to the story (apart from the abdication changing the course of Elizabeth's life of course). I thought they were a bit common. Geoffrey Rush as the speech therapist is excellent. He plays an Australian (as in fact he is) and doesn't stand on ceremony when working with his royal client.
As usual, good lighting, good writing, low key characters, nice settings and a lot of historical accuracy, with some dramatic license taken. I thoroughly recommend this movie, but once again, like "Made in Dagenham", it's not made for the American market. There are no explosions.
Cat news: the damaged part of the tail fell off, there is a suspicion that the other cat bit it off. The remainder of the tail has fur but is paralysed. It doesn't seem to worry him. His growth has been quite severely stunted, as his brother is a big cat now and Lotto has stayed about the size he was when the accident happened. He is also crosseyed so I guess there was a bit of brain damage too. But he is a smart, active, affectionate and apparently happy cat so he's okay. The two still get along well and curl up to sleep together.
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