Action men

Five movies for five days, expect some blog action.



The Expendables


This one purely because of the adorable Jason Statham, East End gangster. This is an all-action movie that appears to be written and directed by Sylvester Stallone, starring Sylvester Stallone. The dialogue is, of course, better than if it was written by James Cameron. It even has humour. Lots of blood, more than usual I would say, each shooting or slashing was punctuated by visible sprays of blood. You don't often get that. Lots of death and dismemberment, with the emphasis on dismemberment. Heads, hands, whatever, slice it off. So it's a fairly silly story of mercenaries, coups, coca and not much else. Star of the show is the seaplane. Not a must-see.




The American


George Clooney being taciturn. Very little dialogue, which in a James Cameron movie would be a plus, but here it just makes the plot even more obscure. Clooney kills people, I think it his job. Could be a hobby. It starts in Dalarna Sweden where those red wooden horses are made. That is the most interesting thing about this movie. It's slow, boring, the lighting is horrible, there may or may not be music, I don't recall. There is no character development, but there is a gratuitous and totally un-sexy sex scene. Leaving that out would have mercifully shortened the movie. At the end of the sex scene, Clooney is lying in the bed looking like a dead monkey. Maybe it was the scarlet lighting in the prostitute's room. Not flattering. George Clooney visiting a prostitute? Hardly likely.

Actually, I only watched up to minute 56, then went off to do something exciting. I washed the dishes. I probably won't watch the rest of it. Possibly I am missing the best bit, or the part that makes it all make sense. At one stage I wondered if it was a training film for the gun-smithing school at Lassen College. Seriously, give this one a miss, even if you are a Clooney fan.

I may re-review this if I watch the rest of it, but don't hold your breath for that.




Cats are fine. Life goes on.